Tami Talks

The need for change

It’s funny to think that exactly three years ago, I was starting my first ever ‘actual adult job’ and I didn’t know what was in store for me. Okay, I still don’t know what’s in store, and I’m still getting used to #adulting, but that’s not the point. I was confused about what I ultimately wanted for my future (Not that I didn’t know exactly what I wanted… Just that I wanted too many things to happen at once!) and I felt like such a child compared to the people I started working with. I actually was the youngest (still am!), and I think I will always be thought of as the baby which isn’t necessarily always a good thing (or that much of a bad thing depending on the circumstances. Okay I like be pampered sometimes.)

Despite all this, everything changed because of my job. I grew a lot, learned a lot, and began to narrow down my goals for the future. There are still a lot of things I want to do sure, but I’ve cut out lots of things like ‘become a world traveling, mummy defeating, archaeologist.’ I’ve figured out a few things about myself too, and I realised that in order to achieve certain goals, I needed to make a big change.

I’ve decided that the time has come to go off on a new adventure in my career, to start fresh and take a big risk. I’ve learned so much over the past three years, have met so many amazing people, and have literally been given opportunities that I never dreamed I’d get. But if I want to grow, I need to put myself in a completely different situation, and learn more of life’s lessons from there.

It’s a hard decision, and I’ve had more than a few mini breakdowns here and there where I feared I was making a mistake. The usual ‘Pros & Cons’ list making did not make me feel better, and making lists always makes me feel good. A few tears were even shed, though I was told that this isn’t really something to cry over. When a great opportunity comes your way, grab it by the balls!!

So this is a bittersweet moment where I say HelloGoodbye (kudos if you know the band!), and where I take a leap of faith.

I leave you with this poem (some say written by Pablo Neruda, some say not) which best explains my feelings right now.

You start dying slowly

You start dying slowly

 if you do not travel,

if you do not read,

If you do not listen to the sounds of life,

 If you do not appreciate yourself.

You start dying slowly

When you kill your self-esteem;

When you do not let others help you.

 You start dying slowly

 If you become a slave of your habits,

Walking everyday on the same paths…

 If you do not change your routine,

If you do not wear different colours

Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.

 You start dying slowly

If you avoid to feel passion

And their turbulent emotions;

Those which make your eyes glisten

 And your heart beat fast.

You start dying slowly

If you do not change your life

 when you are not satisfied with your job,

 or with your love,

If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain,

 If you do not go after a dream,

If you do not allow yourself, At least once in your lifetime,

To run away from sensible advice…

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